Thursday, April 25, 2013

Baby-Free Since 2003

It seems like the more you're on Facebook, especially in the South, the more people are popping out babies. I swear, every time I get on Facebook there's someone else getting pregnant or popping out a child. Don't get me wrong, I want kids. And, up until a few weeks ago, I wanted them like NOW! 

I had them baby rabies BAD. It was actually affecting my mental state. Finally, I was alone one day browsing my photos on Facebook and remember all of the fun things that I've gotten to do for the past few years. When you move out on your own you have this sense of freedom. You all know what I'm talking about. You can do whatever you want, go wherever you want, stay however long you want, etc. You're free to do all of those things without a DAMN thing holding you back. 

Then, you get married and move in with your Hubs and things tend to slow down a little bit. You get a steady job, you've got a good routine going, you've got more money than you ever had in college and your brain, from some reason goes straight to: GIVE ME A BABY. It's the weirdest thing. 

Now that I've come out on the other side of this terribly brain warping part of being female, I am offering my - for lack of  a better term - wisdom. 

I will give you a quote from my dad first: "Spend your money on yourself for as long as you can. When you have kids, it all goes to them." This was followed by an ever-so-tactful "Don't think I want to have grandkids, because I don't." Thanks dad! 

At the time, I kind of shrugged it off because I didn't fully comprehend the knowledge in that advice my dad gave me. Now that I'm making money, I get it. Why would you want to rush into having kids right when you start making money? Why would you not want to take a few years and enjoy the extra money that you're making? After you start having kids, you'll have to wait YEARS before you can basically do anything ever again without having to worry about the well being of a little human that YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING CARE OF FULLY. When I realized that, it was like a brick to the face. 

Not only do I not want to be fully responsible for a little human at this point in my life, but I don't want anything holding me back from doing all the things that I love doing. Call me selfish. I like going to baseball games. I like shopping. I like taking trips. I like amusement parks. I like napping on my own time. I like going out with my friends. I like staying out all night with whoever it is that I'm with and coming home at ungodly hours of the morning. I like having friends over at the house. I like eating out. I like spontaneous vacations. I like my quiet house. Pretty sure that most, if not all, of those things are going to come to a halt when I start having kids. Quite frankly, I don't want that. 

So girls, if you don't want kids - don't be pressured into having kids from all of the baby pictures, baby pins and baby statuses flooding Facebook. Wait until you're ready. You have to give up a lot more than just time to have a baby so take your time  in deciding if you want one or not. Children need attention. Pretty much all you can give. Make sure that you're ready to give that up because you're going to have to. Children deserve all the attention, all of the care and the best possible life that you can give them. If you aren't ready to give 200%, you probably aren't ready. And that's okay. If you wait until you're ready, you and baby will probably be happier. 

This wasn't to offend young mothers. I just wanted to put my recent epiphany out there for other young married women such as myself. 


  1. Amen. My husband and I struggled with infertility and I fell into such a deep depression as a result. Last week I reached the conclusion that we don't need kids to be a family- we have each other ot do whatever we want whenever we want and don't have to worry about all the messes, spilled drinks, loud noises, and early mornings for now. Maybe one day, but I'm becoming more and more ok with the option of not having kids. My ovaries finally stopped ruling my heart!

    1. Yeah! Stupid ovaries, always trying to be the dictator!!

  2. I think it's in the water.. I'm noticing that 80% of people on Facebook and bloggers are pregnant! I've been there, done that, and am not doing it again. Baby rabies, that practically had me in tears! Your dad's advice is SO true. I wasn't at all prepared to have a child, and when I did reality hit me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden you aren't the number one priority, your child is. It was quite the shock to a first time mom who didn't plan on having kids, ever. Take time to enjoy being you!

    1. This was exactly what got me. I like to be number 1 in my life.. at least I do right now. One day I'll have a big enough heart to share with someone else but that's just not right now! From the looks of it though, you seem to be doing a pretty freaking good job with your kids!!